I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
