I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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