Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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