I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Drunk is not a location!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
