I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
