so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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