seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
