everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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