worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize