I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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