I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
