So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
