is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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