Can Purell be used as lube?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
