you win again, gameday.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
