Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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