I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
