I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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