if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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