Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i came on her dog
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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