dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
