Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
