I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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