If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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