Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
