He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize