I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You ruined the universe
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
