Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
