Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
