Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize