I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
