it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize