sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
