All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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