I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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