I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's Friday. Sex?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize