Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
