New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
