bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
