I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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