we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize