Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize