Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
