He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
