that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize