Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
