Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't put those talents on a resume
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
