Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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