I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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