watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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