It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
