Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
