READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
