How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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