Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
