so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
