Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
