You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
