she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
