You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
